So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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