this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
That's when you crack a 10am beer
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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