I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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