I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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