I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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