i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just cropdusted the office
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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