The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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