But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
