Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
