What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You were trust falling into bushes
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
