Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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