this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I want a musical about memes.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
