well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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