I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
