she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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