her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I need to sanitize my soul.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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