the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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