You're so nebulous sometimes
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
