She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I think my moral compass just broke
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
