D3 body, D1 cock
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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