I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Ketchup is God's man juice
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
