riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
