Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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