The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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