I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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