i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
