I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
