I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
