God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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