so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
