doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
