Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
