Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
