butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
