Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
