K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Green mimosas i think yes
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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