we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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