Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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