He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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