if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
