What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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