Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
