my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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