i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
