So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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