its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
