what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
