VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
