3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize