You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Text me some of your sweat
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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